


now you tell me

by xxcaribbean



Category: One Direction (Band), Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Liam!Centric, M/M, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:32:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxcaribbean/pseuds/xxcaribbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>maybe Liam’s view on things is a little skewered, but that doesn’t change the fact that he feels a bit left out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now you tell me

Thing is, everyone has their bad days and everyone has their good days too, when they’re feeling on top of the world and like nothing can stop them from accomplishing all they can in life. But as of late, Liam’s feeling incredibly off, which is something quite significant to say all in itself because Liam doesn’t let things get to him, at least, he tries not to because life isn’t worth wasting by being caught up on past grudges and things that can eventually turn a heart bitter.

But, things have been able to crawl under his skin and sit there for days on end these past few days, brewing until he loses it in the form of pacing around his hotel room or crying from frustration.

It’s probably not rational thinking either, but - and Liam hates to be selfish too - sometimes he thinks he’d like to be noticed every once in awhile. And sure, that can be hard all in itself, especially in a band with four other guys who are just as outgoing and rambunctious as they tend to be in interviews, but lately it’s been different.

Liam’s feeling a little neglected, is all, and while he’d hate to even admit this out loud, it’s really wearing on him, to the point that he doesn’t know what he should do anymore. He can confront them, sure, and maybe they’d feel bad for a day or two until the dust has settled and they fall into routine again, or Liam can observe and actually see if he’s just seeing things or if what he feels is actually concrete.

It’s a small little plan of his, not one he’s fully sure how to execute, but fortunately enough for him the first piece of evidence slots itself together without Liam having to try at all.

By the time he wakes up in the morning and gets dressed and heads on over to one of the lads rooms (he thinks it might be Niall’s or Louis’ but he can’t be too sure because everyone tends to switch it up every now and again) he knocks and waits and finds that no one’s there.

So he shrugs it off, knocks on someone else’s door until he comes across someone who works for their management, who informs him then that everyone’s down at breakfast already.

The pit in Liam’s stomach only deepens.

When he gets down to the area where they serve breakfast, he sees the lads circled around a table. There’s plenty of leg and elbow room, and Liam debates on going in there or not because if he did, that means they’d all have to move around and have less room to wiggle about.

They’re laughing, he can see. Niall’s leaned back in his chair, hand on his stomach with a grin on his face. Louis’ head is ducked down, shaking it while Zayn and Harry are busy glancing at one another with a twinkle in their eye, like they’ve both said something hilarious and can’t be bothered to say a word afterwards.

Liam retreats back to his room for the morning, without breakfast, and waits until someone comes to get him for their interviews all throughout the rest of the afternoon.

x.x.x.x

It happens again later in the day. They’ve all been through several interviews and the questions are becoming quite old, but they’re all in a good mood and answering everything nicely enough.

The boys are also stuck on a couch and Liam, funnily enough, is placed directly in the middle between Niall and Harry with both Louis and Zayn taking up the ends.

It’s fine, at first, because it seems like it’d be easier this way to give interviews since Liam knows he tends to take over for the boys when they have nothing to say. He’s a lot more laid back, more easy going when it comes to evading personal questions or defending the ones around him but as soon as a new interviewer walks in, the first question is directed at Harry, of course, and it goes from there, the boys joking around with him until they move on to other questions, where Louis answers along with Niall, and sometimes Zayn gets a word or two in there as well.

But Liam, well, he barely says one word, and his mouth feels dry; his body feels tingly and he wonders if any of the other lads have ever felt this way before, being ignored not only by the rest of the band but by interviewers too.

Liam would like to give them all the benefit of the doubt and say that they're too preoccupied with not noticing the dejected look Liam has on his face, but as he frowns and he nudges Niall, who's too busy staring off at Zayn, who's got the mic and is speaking about something to do with their music, it's easy to see that Liam's definitely not on anyone's minds.

And it’s fine, Liam tries to tell himself, that he gets to sit back and listen for once, but he feels like a part of him is beginning to go missing at feeling left out. This isn’t the first day it’s happened, but right now, its worse and reaffirming everything from the past few days.

He stays though, throughout the entire interview and tries to put on a smile to make it through the rest of their agenda.

x.x.x.x

Two days later, when they finally have a night off and when Liam’s by himself in his room and would like some company just because he’s exhausted and would much rather be in the presence of the people he knows the best, he leave his room again only to find the lads out in the hallway, completely dressed as if they’re about to leave.

They’re not in anything too nice, but it’s dressy enough to look like they’re going out and they’re chatting amongst themselves, and Liam now just feels hurt because how and why and what are they even doing?

“Thought you were asleep?” Liam hears.

It’s Zayn.

He shakes his head. “Nah, was just about to see what you were up to, actually.”

Zayn shrugs and the other lads quiet down too.

“We’re about to go out to this club Niall found. He says it’s quite popular, and we’d though we’d check it out,” Louis explains.

Liam nods, feeling completely under dressed in his t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s even got socks that cover his feet, and he just feels plain awful.

“Oh,” he replies. It’s nothing short of a whisper though.

“We didn’t think you’d want to come anyway. Plus, we thought you'd already gone to bed and didn't want to wake you.” It’s Harry who speaks this time, making his way around the other boys so Liam can see him.

“It’s alright. I understand,” Liam says. He gives them all a half-hearted smile to which they return before walking past him and down the hall towards the elevators.

It’s only Zayn who sticks behind for a moment or two, with Liam shuffling on his feet and wanting to go back to his hotel room already.

“You’re sure you’re okay with this? I can stay behind if you want?”

And Liam knows Zayn used those specific words for a reason (or at least subconsciously) because it’s made to make Liam feel bad.

He shakes his head. “No, don’t not go on my account. You’re already dressed.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands, swats at Zayn to catch up with the other lads who are holding the elevator for him. “You go have fun.”

Liam doesn’t stick around to watch the elevator doors close.

x.x.x.x

There’s another week of interviews and promotional things the band has to do, which involves going around to different radio stations, and Liam honestly thinks they don’t need it because hello, biggest band in the  _world_  at the moment, and while that may sound a little self-centered, he can’t help but think it’s true when even he himself is sick of his own music.

But they do it anyway because honestly, if there’s one thing that keeps Liam going, it’s the boys and the fans. It’s definitely always about the fans, which is why he looks like his feathers have been ruffled when an interviewer (a pretty young thing who looks like she has no experience but got the job because of her “personality”) asks about the relationships within the band.

It’s obvious she’s fishing, but it’s nothing they haven’t been able to avoid. Still, they like to poke fun at management and make jokes about the bromances and talk about who’d they pair up with if they were women or who they’d like to be for the day.

Same old, same old, until Liam’s forgotten again.

“I hear a new little ship is on the horizon.”

“Oh really?” Niall says.

Liam’s on the end of the couch this time, sitting on the arm; it’s uncomfortable. There’s not any room for him on the couch either, obvious that the establishment hadn’t expected them all to crowd together on one seat like they’ve come to do during events like this.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t think I’d given it any attention before but it seems like Ziall’s taken off pretty well. Of course,” the woman puts on a bright smile then and turns to both Harry and Louis, “there will always be Larry, but hey, I think it’s safe to assume that there’s room for more?”

Liam closes his eyes and bites at his lip, waiting for someone to answer the question regardless of whether they want to or the fact that management is just over to the side shaking their head.

But when nothing comes, and the room is dead silent, Liam finally opens his eyes and finds that the lads are staring at him expectantly.

“What?”

“I said,” Louis insists, “that Liam here probably has a great answer to your question.” He turns back to the woman and smiles a charming little smile to make sure it seems like nothing is wrong, though the grin on her face falters.

“Right,” Liam begins. It’s the first time he’s gotten to speak properly in an interview for some time now and of course this is the question they’d include him in on. Sometimes he wishes he could smile sarcastically and tell them all to fuck off, but Liam’s too nice for that most of the time, so he sighs and looks at the woman.

“We’re all friends but as friends do, we get a little… used to one another and sometimes it’s best to spend a couple of days away to calm our nerves and settle down. But we’re all very much close, and I think it’s just the fans having a bit of fun.”

His tone is not clipped, but it might as well be because that was definitely not the answer anyone was expecting, but the woman masks her face, as well as the rest of the boys, getting straight back into the interview as if nothing had even occurred.

x.x.x.x

Liam doesn’t mean to pry; it just sort of happens one day after another long day, where the lads are all curled around one another on the couch, resting up until they can leave for the hotel.

Except Liam isn’t anywhere near them and has instead chosen to make use of the array of snacks that have been left out for the lot of them.

He tries not to listen in, obvious that the other four boys are having their own conversation and he’s not included for a reason, but it only further reminds him that apparently he’s done something wrong to upset them if they don’t want him around.

It makes him think back to when he was younger and bullied and had a hard time making friends, watching everyone else with their little groups, looking happy and excited.

“Then who’s it going to be?” Zayn says.

“It can’t be Louis, that’s for sure. He’ll only make him feel worse.”

“Hey now!”

“Shhhhh, he’ll hear.”

Liam snorts and picks up a package of Doritos and finds his own spot in the room to sit, away from the friends who haven’t been acting like it as of late.

They’re only there for another half hour before Paul is motioning for them to come along, that they can leave, and once they’re in the car and on the way to their hotel, it’s Zayn that chooses to sit next to Liam on the ride back.

Liam doesn’t take any notice to him though, but he can sense that he absentmindedly scoots in closer to the warmth of Zayn’s body, missing some type of contact he’s had with the other boys.

It's not long before they arrive at the hotel, and Liam's the first one out of the car, definitely not waiting for the other boys to get into the building either. He's also the first one in the elevator and while he sees the other lads running after him, the elevator door shuts before they manage to make it.

He feels slightly sick at being so rude, but they haven't been so kind to him either, and when the lift dings and the doors open on the correct floor, Liam heads off for his room, opens the door, shuts it behind him and decides it’s time for bed; he’ll be safe here and maybe tomorrow he can finally work up the courage he needs to address the boys properly and ask them if they’ve truly grown bored of him yet.

But just as Liam’s about to strip down and climb into bed, there’s a knock on the door.

“Liam?”

Liam doesn’t want to answer it regardless of the fact that it’s Zayn who’s wanting to come in. They’ve always been a little closer than the other lads, and someone he also expected to include Liam in everything the others did, but of course, that hasn’t been the case lately.

“What do you want?” he says as he swings the doors open.

Zayn’s standing on the other side with his hands stuffed into his pockets, hair a mess and concern in his eyes.

“Can I come in?”

Liam bites his lip and thinks about it, honestly considering on telling Zayn no and closing the door in his face, but he can’t do that with the way the other boy is looking at him. So soon enough, Liam steps aside, opens the door wider and lets Zayn through.

“What’s going on with you, Liam?”

Liam has every right to snap right now and admit what’s going on, but he doesn’t, not yet at least in fear that maybe he’s the one who’s just feeling this way and that the boys are trying to include him and he’s just being stupid.

He furrows his brow.

“Nothing.”

Zayn snorts though and shakes his head, pulling Liam around to the bed where they both sit at the end of it.

“Don’t lie to me, Liam. You’re horrible at it.”

“I promise I’m fine!” Liam insists but it comes out a little more hazed than he intended and Zayn’s left with eyebrows raised and a pointed look on his face. “Okay, fine. I think it’s shitty what you and the other lads have been doing lately.”

“Pardon?”

“Of course you wouldn’t notice because you’ve been included…”

And his little tangent starts, and really, Liam doesn’t mean to get overly flustered at the aspect of being left out. But it happens regardless and the words fly out of his mouth to the point where he needs to stand up and pace the little area in front of the bed, where Zayn’s still sitting and having to follow Liam back and forth with his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “But I-it’s not, well, I don’t think I could handle not being around you guys for so long and maybe I’ve excluded myself without me really knowing but then you take off without asking me, and is it really wrong of me to worry? I don’t know anymore. I can’t keep any of you from doing what you want, and if that doesn’t include me, then could you at least tell me?”

Liam notices Zayn’s a little wide-eyed, and he instantly clamps his mouth shut because he’s sure he’s just overwhelmed the other boy more than he intended.

“Sorry,” he says. Liam’s pretty sure if he still had his dirty brown locks, he’d be running a hand through them, so instead he settles for rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t apologize.”

Liam meets Zayn gaze at his words and he feels like he should say he’s sorry, again, but he doesn’t.

“Liam, if you felt that way, why didn’t you tell us?”

Liam feels shy, like really, really incredibly shy all of a sudden because that would’ve been the smart thing to do instead of assuming stuff in the first place.

“But you’re right.”

“What?” Liam looks taken a back, like he truly hadn’t expected that response although that’d been the one he’d wanted from the start.

“I mean, I noticed it, slightly, apparently not enough to do anything about it, but I figured you didn’t mind much. You, well, you like being alone a lot, Liam, and I think everyone assumed…”

“You forgot about me, that’s fine. I get it.”

“No, it’s not fine, and maybe there’s a slight truth to that,” Zayn says while standing up and walking closer to Liam. “But we hadn’t set out to hurt you, if that’s what you’re thinking. The lads wouldn’t be able to live with themselves;  _I_  wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that you thought you weren’t good enough anymore.”

And Liam’s not sure why he does it; maybe it’s because he’s a very sensitive creature and he’s staring at Zayn who looks overly sincere and sorry and just plain guilty, that makes Liam lean forward and press his lips against Zayn's.

It’s quick, not something that Liam lingers around for because  _where in the hell did that even come from_?

But when he pulls back, Zayn’s beaming and tugging on his hand. “C’mon,” he says, and Liam wonders out loud where they’re going.

“Out, with the lads, of course, unless you’d rather...”

Liam shakes his head, liking the way Zayn’s hand is wrapped around his and not put off by the way that Zayn hasn’t said a thing about what he’d just done. “No, let’s go. That sounds great.”

He’s met with another smile, and Liam really hopes that this time around, things change.


End file.
